Live the Life you Want!

2007-11-14T12:02:00.000-08:00

Hiatus

Every now and again, we all need to stop. Take a break. Go on hiatus. That's what they call in television. Hiatus. TV shows are on hiatus right now because of the writer's strike. I take an occasional haitus when I'm worn out from routine. When I'm doing the same thing over and over, day in and day out, I go a little nuts. So I take a break. But now I'm back.

I've been working with folks who are trying to raise money to start a new business. It's been interesting to teach them how to think like potential funders. People who want to invest in businesses are looking for particular things. They want to invest in businesses that are well planned, thought out and run by people with integrity and have been willing to put their own money into the venture.

One man told me recently that he didn't want to borrow any money for his business. His contribution was giving up his full time job and working the business. In his mind, he was contributing labor. The investor would invest money. Image his surprise when I told him it doesn't work that way.

How badly do you want to reach your goals? How much are you willing to put into your goals? Time? Money? Effort? Lose a little sleep? How much do you want what you say you want? Until you've decided the depth of your committment and desire, you won't go anywhere. Without that burning desire, Edison did not invent the light bulb, Einstein didn't write his theory of relativity and Bill Gates did not start Microsoft.

I'm at a cross roads right now. Looking for what's next in life and each option I weigh has, so far, lacked that burning desire. But I'm patient. I'll find what's next for my life. The goals will be mine and I'll be totally devoted to them. Without devotion, nothing works.

2007-10-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

Thank You

The power of Thank You, of gratitude in general, is the subject of a new book by Deborah Norville. Did you know that "thank you" actually improves our health? Want to be more energetic, enthusiastic, joyful, exercise more and have fewer illnesses? Be more grateful, say thank you more often. Let the people around you know that you're thankful for them.

Keep a gratitude journal. Each morning, before doing anything else, jot down five things for which you are grateful.

Notice the TV commercial where a string of kind acts is triggered by one young woman who stops a fellow pedestrian from stepping out into traffic? It's a simple example of how being grateful for someone else's act of kindness can inspire us to perform an act of kindness for someone else. Very powerful.

Dr. Robert Emmons of the University of California, Davis, has done scientific research that proves gratitude has positive effects on general health. Want more sleep? Dr. Emmons' research proves that people who are grateful get more sleep! Want to exercise more? Be more grateful. This gratitude creates energy and a positive attitude that triggers the desire to exercise more.

Dr. Alice M. Isen of Cornell conducted a study where doctors were given a small bag of candies as a thank you and found that this little token caused the doctors to process facts better, think out of the box, were more willing to keep checking the facts to ensure that their diagnosis was correct.

Huge benefits for a simple "thank you". Most of what we can do to live the lives we want to live are simple, small things like being grateful and expressing thanks.

2007-10-12T06:53:00.000-07:00

Friday
Friday is the gateway to the weekend. It seems as the day progresses, things get slower and slower. Ever try to reach a business contact on Friday afternoon? Fuggedaboutit. You won't hear from them until Monday. Of course, I remember when I worked in an office, I did my best to avoid Friday afternoon phone calls that required I do something.
Now that I work for myself, I find myself starting to wind down on Thursday afternoons. I go out of my way to call people who might need something to head off any Friday afternoons requirements.
Monday mornings are nuts as a result but I don't care. I like being able to control my time. That's the thing. More and more, I'm noticing we all want to be able to control our time. We get tired of being at the beck and call of others. We want to call our own shots. On the other hand, none of us work as physically hard as our parents' generation. When my parents reminisce about their working years, their days were all about very hard physical work. My maternal grandfather was a successful farmer who started his day before dawn and didn't end until after the sun went down.
I've heard that my paternal grandmother worked at a women's clothing factory where she ironed clothes all day before they were packaged for sale. Standing up all day, ironing? Now that sounds like hard physical work.
My husband tells me about working on his father's ranch, moving irrigation pipe, tending animals and hauling hay. I'm glad I didn't have to do that.
So Happy Friday everyone! See you on Monday.

2007-10-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

Not Much to Say

Ever have days where you just don't have much to say? My daughter tells me that she gets worried when I don't talk. She thinks I'm upset about something. "You're never quiet". Well, actually, I am quiet sometimes. Why? I don't have much to say. Sometimes I'm drained. Tired. Need to listen rather than talk.

I also need to stop and just be quiet for a while. It usually doesn't last for very long. But there are times when it's just right to be quiet. Thoughtful. Matter of fact, my friend, Deanne, told me last week that she was looking forward to the weekend because her life was going to be quiet. But that didn't happen. She ended up entertaining company. Bummer. So much for quiet time! I had the same thing happen. I was looking forward to the quiet and ended up having a house full of company most of the weekend. Not that we don't enjoy having the children and grandchildren here. There are times we I need to be quiet. There's nothing like sitting in a chair, listening to quiet music and just thinking.

During the week, with work and other responsibilities, it's tough to be quiet. Yesterday I was so busy, moving from task to task, talking to people, making decisions, etc, that my brain hurt by 4:30. I was really glad to just stop. Even if I didn't have time to just sit and think quietly, it was good to turn everything off.

I keep wondering when we're going to all find ourselves needing some peace and quiet and we actually do it. Just turn off and sit.

2007-10-04T08:04:00.000-07:00

Husbands who Cook

Well, it's Ladies Who Lunch today. At my house. My husband made a huge crock pot full of beef stew. He cooks quite a bit. He seems to like to make huge pots of soup but he's learned that I'm suspicious of his soups. He tends to clean out the fridge. And he doesn't check what he's throwing in the pot. I've tried some of his soups and when I hit the one that tasted, well, awful, I swore off the soups. However, the stew is fabulous! I've watched him make it and it's safe. Delicious.

The other negative to a husband who cooks? He doesn't clean. Not a wit. But today? He knew the lunch is here today and guest what? He cleaned up after himself. There were a few dishes in the sink but they were rinsed. All I have to do is put them in the dishwasher. He did more than take a swipe over the counter tops with a damp rag. He actually did a good job.

Now here's the problem. Tomorrow, there won't be a lunch here. He won't have the motivation to do as good a job tomorrow as he did today. And grandchildren will be here in the morning, depending on Grandpa to fix their breakfast. You can bet that he won't be feeding them a simple breakfast of cold cereal. When Grandma gets up, she gets the mess. Swell.

The up side? Grandma gets to sleep in a little bit because Grandpa is willing to get up with grandchildren, willing to cook, willing to try new recipes. Guess what? I'm grateful.

2007-10-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Christmas Shopping

Wal-Mart. Yesterday. October 2. Rows and rows of Christmas decorations for sale. Rows of them. It's October. I'm not ready. I don't want to start holiday shopping until November. At least. However, I did hear someone this morning say that she's starting her Christmas shopping this week. Get outta here! I want Halloween to be over first! Okay. So I've started my list. Actually, one grandson wants a kilt for Christmas but he needs it for Halloween. He's going as William Wallace, the hero of Braveheart. He was thrilled to hear we're of Scottish descent. Other than that, fuggedaboutit. Oh well, I did find something for my sister and I've already got a book for another grandson ... okay, so I've started Christmas shopping but it was all quite by accident. Just serendipitous. I'm not making any more Christmas gift purchases until November 1. At least. And I've avoiding those aisles at Wal-Mart, Target, Sears, Dillard's, Penney's, Macy's, etc. I understand that this means I can't go into any store until November 1 but that's okay. I'll save money that I can then spend in November, paying for the stuff on the list I'll spend all October assembling.

2007-09-28T08:57:00.000-07:00

Awareness + Creative Thinking = Opportunity

Over the past few weeks I’ve been researching energy efficiency and conservation. In the process, it struck me that there is a formula for successful entrepreneurship. Here it is:

Awareness + Creative Thinking = Opportunity

Being aware is all about knowing what’s happening in our world. What’s happening in the world to change lives, create needs, generate new desires? How are lifestyles changing? How aware are you of changes in lifestyles? Awareness is key to the successful business owner. You have to know what’s happening in the lives of your potential customers to be successful in any business. Those who stay current with and are educated about changes are in the best position to use that information to their advantage, to create a business that meets emerging needs and desires.

Of course, information alone isn’t everything. The second piece of the equation is creative thinking, using what you know, looking at it from all possible angles, will lead the flexible business owner to opportunities for success.

Here’s a good example. Everyone knows something about solar energy. But what most don’t know is that at least one clever entrepreneur looked at solar power in a new, creative way and produced portable solar generators for use by campers. This portable option makes camping a bit more comfortable and eliminates the need for large quantities of batteries to power lanterns, flash lights, etc. Then someone looked at this portable option and asked, “How can this become a back up generator for homes?” Someone else recognized the need and potential for owners of swimming pools to use this small, portable solar generator to heat their pools. They didn’t start from scratch inventing something new. They applied creative thinking to an existing item!

Another solar power example. There are now solar generator sheets, about the size of a lap top computer for busy business people to use anywhere! Imagine sitting on the beach, working from your lap tap and not using a battery! You use power supplied by the sun!

Business owners who are aware of what’s happening in the world, aware of needs and desires, and apply creative thinking, create opportunities for themselves!

Most successful business is created by one aware person who applied creative thinking to this awareness. What about you?

Awareness + Creative Thinking = Opportunity

2007-09-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

Household Accidents

A friend of ours from church passed away yesterday as the result of a common household accident. The fellow was in his early 70's and the accident that claimed his life is especially common among older folks. A simple hand bar might have saved him. Perhaps not. The point is that household accidents still happen. It's hard to believe that people lose their lives from household accidents but the loss of our friend was a great wake up call for us and for everyone we know. We have to be aware of safety issues, perhaps even be aware of our own limitations as we get a little older, and take preventive actions.

At Universityhospitals.com, I found that water related accidents and falls are huge hazards in the home, for people of all ages. Stairs, loose carpets, slippery surfaces like bath tubs and showers, snow, ice or rain covered surfaces, are all factors in household accidents throughout the country.

As a result of our friend's death, I am looking at things differently in my home and I hope everyone I know does the same. We've got to look at our homes in terms of hazards and potential hazards, ensuring that we eliminate all that we can to prevent accidents that claimed the life of our friend.

2007-09-24T07:01:00.001-07:00

Amazing Statistic

Did you know that 90% of the soldiers shot and wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan live? It's an amazing statistic! We've never seen medical miracles in these numbers ever before! Combat medics, field hospitals, field doctors, emergency transportation have all improved so dramatically that more soldiers' lives can and are being saved! It's something for which we must all be grateful.

Walter Reed Medical Center in the Washington, D.C. area, cares for these wounded men and women and has become the leading place in the world for rehabilitating people who have lost limbs. Prosthetic technology is enabling many of the wounded get back to life in a less altered state than ever before! Some of the wounded have even been able to continue their military service. Where once a war injury was an automatic dismissal from military service, more and more of these men and women are staying in the military and teaching others who are coming up through the ranks the realities of war and sacrifice.

No matter how one feels about the war in the middle east over all, we all have to acknowledge and be grateful for these miracles. The strength and determination that they have demonstrated is a modern miracle, one from which we will all benefit in the long run.

2007-09-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

Survival

Some days the best one can hope for is survival. We get much too busy, our schedules get full and we can hope to just survive all the tasks. I was concerned that yesterday would be like that. But it wasn't. Lesson learned. Things are never as bad as we imagine. I had to remember not to look at the day as a whole. The best way to see those crazy days is in little pieces, moving from one task to the next and one task at a time. AS the day progressed, I managed to do that and everything went very well. Once again, calm, rational behavior won out.

It's amazing how our imaginations can make us crazy, cause us to worry about things that go bump in the night and generally cause misery. It seems in life there are many things to tame and our imaginations are in constant need of being controlled and stopped from making life harder than we need.

Saturday morning will be the real test. I've been involved with large projects before but never in a situation where I've been working with several ocmpanies, coordinating deliveries from rental agencies with which I've never worked before. It's tough to let go of that kind of control. Our need to control all the elements in our lives in another thing that we have to control. Sometimes its a matter of doing the best that we can do and letting go, which is what I'll be doing Saturday morning. Wish me luck.

2007-09-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

Crazy Days

We all have them. Days that are filled with tasks, one after the other, each of equal importance. I've got one today. And the only way to handle these days? One task at a time. In spite of all the guidance I try to give people about taming their schedules and taking charge of their time, we have to be prepared for days that are unusually full. Getting an early start is helpful and being sure to plan travel time, if the day is full of errands or tasks that require traveling, is key to keeping our heads about us. Those very full days are the ones we have to be sure to remain calm because calm is needed to accomplish everything that's planned.

Most days can be planned so that we aren't overwhelmed and it's important to be aware that you are in charge of your time. Make sure those crazy days are rare. But be prepared for those rare times when craziness cannot be avoided.

I will be practicing what I preach today and I'll report back tomorrow how it goes.

2007-09-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

Drama

Drama! There is just too much of it in life! I'm sure we've all known someone we refer to as a Drama Queen, someone who makes a big deal out of everything and gets emotionally upset about seemingly small things. Well, it seems the world at large feeds this drama. So many things are blown out of proportion, so many personal lives are revealed in dramatic detail, it's easy to be dragged into the emotions!

All the drama and seriousness? It has me worn out. I live in a community where a high profile trial is taking place. There's so much coverage on what it seems like literally every TV and radio channel, that it wears me out. Turning it all off is one solution but it's strange. We can go to the grocery store and still hear the dramatic details of things that just aren't our business! As a society, we've become addicted to the drama in life and in the lives of others, particularly the lives of celebrities.

What happens when we all, collectively, turn it off? We will never know because we don't have the courage to turn it off but the thought is a nice one.

2007-09-17T06:54:00.000-07:00

Making Decisions

Over the years, I've coached folks who have a hard time making decisions. Generally, people who are indecisive shouldn't go into business for themselves but by learning some decision making strategies, indecisivie people can learn how to make good choices.

The simplest way to look at decision making is to make a list of pros and cons. Use a piece of paper and draw a line across the top of it. Then draw another line down the middle of the paper. Label the left side Pros and the right side Cons. Then list everything you can think of that's positive about the decision on the left side of the page. On the right side, list all the negatives. Then leave the list alone and come to it the next day. With a rested mind, you can go through the pros and cons and see clearly which way you should go.

Once the decision is made, indecisive people have a hard time letting go and quite frankly there may not be an easy way to do this. However, I've seen people who deal with this element of decision making by taking it one day at a time. The first day, tell yourself that it's fine. You've made a good choice. Keep running that through your mind as often as you need to put the doubts to rest. The second day is usually easier. Each day gets easier. Allow yourself to make a good decision in a rational way and then let it go. Don't allow emotions to stop you from moving forward, making the decisions that need to be made.

2007-09-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

Passion

Everyone has a purpose. Sometimes more than one. Sometimes we call this passion. But it's been interesting lately when talking to people about their passion, they reveal all sorts of wonderful things. Many folks know their passion, know that they want to pursue some dream but they don't know how or when.

Every decade of life is different. Different demands. Different responsibilities. What younger folks don't know is that life changes. Those demands and responsibilities change and time actually becomes more and more your own. Even when time doesn't feel like our own, we can take a little time every day (put the kids to bed 30 minutes early or get up 30 minutes before them and claim that time as your own!) to pursue the things we really love so when life changes, we're already in the habit of using time for the things we love. It just grows!

Discovering one's passion is not that difficult. Our hearts already know the things we need. We just have to give ourselves permission to admit those things, write them out and do at least one small thing every day that moves us closer to pursuing those things.

The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Silly idea but true. Start today!

2007-09-12T07:03:00.000-07:00

Beslan Russia

A few year ago, terrorists attacked a school in Russia where they did unspeakable things to some of the older girl students, murdered the largest male students and fathers right off the bat and held hostages, many very small children, without water and food for days on end.

Just as we revere September 11 as a day of remembrance, Russians pay tribute to those that died that day at an annual day of remembrance.

The thing is that no one in the civilized world seems to understand that terrorists are animals and the only way to stop terrorism is to become even more savage. Even the Russians, who during World War II, doled out revenge on the German people just as savagely as the Nazis treated the Russian people when they invaded, cannot bring themselves to deal with terrorists on terrorists' terms.

War on terror? It won't end until we become willing to meet the terrorists on their own terms, with savagery that we cannot possibly imagine. And that is the most sad aspect of all. Human beings have become so base, have stooped so low, that it makes me want to cry. It has become truly a fight between good and evil and unfortunately, the only way to win is to step into the dark side of evil just enough to destroy it. The gamble is can we step back out again? I don't know the answer to that one. And that's scary.

2007-09-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

Enjoy

Recently I've been thinking about enjoying life, how some folks are so serious about living that they do very little that they enjoy. Had lunch with my school teacher daughter over the weekend, something I thoroughly enjoy and we talked about how hard it is for her to incorporate things she enjoys just for the sake of enjoyment. She's not alone. It's as though young people are split into two groups: those that are very serious and hard working who do few of the things that they enjoy and those that are very busy playing, so busy that they're heavily in debt. It seems people of all ages, but most particularly the younger generation, struggle with balance even more than their parents.

Enjoyment is much simpler than most people think about, particularly since we get to control our time. The challenge is to think about our time, use it as a tool, find those simple, little things that are enjoyable and do them every day. Some women enjoy a particular soap opera, a short period of time each day. Others like to to read and do it an hour every day. My mother-in-law frequently had a jig saw puzzle set up on a card table in her home. She did this for years! She thoroughly enjoyed the challenge. No matter how busy one's schedule, there are at least 20 minutes every day to devote to something that's enjoyable. And I've learned that as we age, our children grow up, financial needs change and life really does change. We can move from devoting 20 minutes daily to something we enjoy to an hour or more!

Try it. Do it. Life is for enjoying! So enjoy it. Today.

2007-09-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

AAAAAHHHHH! I need tech support!

So I was on line for nearly 20 minutes trying to get tech support to walk me through how to copy files to a CD. I've got better things to do than be on hold so I hung up. Actually, I figured out that part on my own. BUT there are a couple of extra files on the CD that I want to delete. No can do. I've tried everything I can think of, followed every bit of advice the net I can find and asked a couple of people to help me. Nothing is working!!!!! I have to have the CD ready to overnight it to a publishing company and they have to have it by Friday. I understand that I have to delete all the files and then re-write the one I really want to the CD. That much I get but how to get rid of everything? I've tried it all and it's just not happening!

The thing is I really enjoy all of this technology. Getting my first book published has been made extremely convenient as a result of all this technology BUT this saving to CD is making me nuts! Well, more nuts.

Surely I'm not the only person who uses the internet for many things but I come up against a brick wall more times than I care to admit. And each of those brick walls makes me crazy!

Any ideas of how to get around those brick walls? Any ideas of the best tech support available? Help me. Please!

2007-09-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

Labor Day

The US Department of Labor explains that Labor Day "constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country". Another comment on the www.dol.gov web site points out that Labor Day does not honor a single individual or event, unique among our holiday observances.

United States labor is like a big Army of individuals, pulling together to make a living for families as well as create a nation of strength at a level the world has not seen before or since. Labor is the absolute backbone of the United States.

Like most of our holidays, we've failed to teach our children and grandchildren the significance of this holiday. Since our kids will be joining this great Army at some point in their lives, we need to explain to them how the power of our nation is tied directly to the spirit of labor, the willingness of the American worker to sacrifice, to work tirelessly, producing goods and services that are the envy of the world!

One of the greatest stories of American labor occured during World War II when the need to produce equipment for war was severe, the American worker rose to the occasion without intimidation or fear. They knew the need and they filled the need. That's the real potency of American labor. Explain the need to the American people and they will get the job done. Period. Our children and grandchildren must understand this because we must prepare them to be a part of it. This is their inheritance, their legacy.

2007-08-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

Television

The past several days I've been watching a lot of television. About twice a year I get a head cold that knocks me right out for nearly a week! I haven't been able to sleep very much. I've been reading a lot and watching an inordinate amount of television. I've learned a lot about cooking by watching numerous episodes of Top Chef, both last season and the current one. Will & Grace, which has been one of my faves for quite a while, caused me to smile a bit in spite of feeling awful. Old movies with Barbara Stanwyck and Bette Davis kept me somewhat entertained. Perry Mason re-reuns have been on the agenda for a while. I was running a fever most of the week but I haven't been blind. Raymond Burr is still handsome to me.

The news was interesting. Sort of. Interesting in that it's a reflection of what matters to us as a people and during this time, the death of Princess Diana (an event that happened 10 years ago!) and the recovery or non-recovery of New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina were the big stories over the past week. On top of not feeling well, it made me sad that we as a people can't seem to work together, resolve things, and move on to new challenges. Our ability to work together is what has made us a unique people throughout history but now it seems there's so much finger pointing and so many accusations ... that's another subject for another entry, I suppose.

Bottom line? At least Top Chef offered something new, taught me things I didn't know before.

2007-08-24T09:23:00.001-07:00

Laughter

Check out www.funnieststuff.net. You will find some incredibly funny videos and can even sign up for their daily funny video that will come to you in your email. There have been a couple that have had me laughing out loud. My favorite so far is a phone conversation between Darth Vader and the emporer. I've seen it three times and has me laughing out loud every time!

Also, on You Tube, you will find some hilarious videos. Weird Al has posted the outtakes from White and Nerdy at You Tube. Funny stuff.

Why bother checking out funny things? Research shows that laughter has therapeutic benefits. Not only that, laughter can eleminate stress. What I've found is that if I can laugh at some of life's situations, I have a much better perspective. Much easier to put less serious things in their rightful place when I'm laughing at life's little quirks. Try it! You'll find some real relief!

2007-08-23T07:54:00.000-07:00

Living What I Teach

My radio show this week (Wednesdays, 11:00 am, www.grapevineradio.com) was about two men who have found their passion and are pursuing those passions. Next week, I'll be talking about how to find one's passion. Passion can sometimes be seen as purpose. Why am I here? What should I be doing with my time? How can I best serve my family and the world at large? And guess what? I'm living it. Life's purposes change as we move from decade to decade. Now I've found myself asking these questions. I've accomplished many of the things I thought I wanted to accomplish in my younger years. I'm working on those items I haven't accomplished. The book should come out before Christmas and I'm working on getting a speaking tour organized.

Now, I find myself wondering what's next. As a young girl, I thought I would go to law school and eventually be Perry Mason. But not look like Perry Mason. Or be gay. Talk about being disappointed when I heard Raymond Burr, my all time biggest crush, being gay!!!! But I digress.

What's next for me? I really want to be doing more that serves others. I spend time serving my children and love it. Every minute of the time I spend with my children is an absolute highlight and joy in my life. Making memories with my grandchildren? Fantastic!

Beyond that, my whole life I've had this feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something big. Influence and inspire large groups of people. Maybe the book will do that? I don't know. But I'll be spending time this week doing the exercises I suggest clients use to discover their passion because it's pretty obvious that in this decade of my life, the path is taking a turn. Maybe even after discovering my purpose at this point in life, things won't make a big change ... doesn't matter as long as I feel good about what I'm doing.

There's nothing like practicing what you preach.

2007-08-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

Genetically Engineered Food

Dr. Norman Borlaug. Never heard of him, right? I didn't either until recently and he's an important guy to know about!

At 93, he's won a Noble Prize and was recently honored by Congress and the President for his work in agriculture. Borlaug has developed new crops and seeds that can be used in a variety of soils and under a variety of conditions. He's presently working on the African continent with the Gates Foundation to help farmers there produce more food in spite of difficult circumstances. In one interview (www.reason.com), points out how many African nations suffer from a lack of roads to transport needed fertilizer. He says that animals needed to till soil in Africa are tough to buy and maintain. The solution? Borlaug developed seeds that will grow in land that needs no tilling! Isn't that something? A guy who actually looks at the situation and creates a solution that fits the situation!

The down side? His methods will work here too but there are so may naysayers that rather than put up with the criticism, he went to parts of the world where his ideas would be embraced! Even now, we hear about how genetically engineered food is bad and organic food is good and experts like Borlaug are being ignored in his own country! He lays out a very good case for how Mother Nature uses genetic engineering by explaining how Mother Nature has created several varieties of wheat over the centuries.

Men like Norman Borlaug don't get their due. It's a shame.

2007-08-21T07:27:00.000-07:00

Scary Story

Want to hear something scary? If you live in Southern California, this is especially scary. My almost 90-year-old father and 85-year-old mother have driven from their southern Utah home to southern California to visit our brother. They drove their car! They're driving Southern California freeways. Feel real safe, don't you?

All four of their children, including the terminally ill son they've gone to visit, have done everything we can think of to stop them from making long car trips. As time as progressed, it has become apparent that our father would prefer not to drive but our mother will not be denied. She's going when she's going, where she's going, and she couldn't care less about what anyone has to say about it. We've offered air fare, offered to drive them, but she won't hear of it. She wants the freedom to come and go as she pleases, with Dad at the wheel. The idea of being free to come and go is certainly legitimate. I like my freedom too but freedom at the cost of the safety of others? That's too high a price!

With the growing number of baby boomers aging, more and more people are in that position of trying to care for elderly parents, trying to balance their needs for independence with the needs of the world at large that there is a real need for advice about how to handle these situations. There was a time when we could turn to the family doctor for help in these situations but that option has gone by the wayside. They no longer want to get involved.

We've done our best, everything we can think to do. So folks in Southern California, for the next few days, stay off the roads as much as possible.

2007-08-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

Work as Fun

Recently, I heard a young woman discussing her job, say, “You’re supposed to have a good time at work.” And she wasn’t having a good time. How I wish she could have talked to my folks, who rarely, if ever, had a good time at work. Her own grandparents could tell her about what work is really all about! You’re blessed if you have a job that’s also a good time. Even the job that’s fun isn’t fun every day! There’s drudgery in every job. So get over it! I wanted to tell the girl to stop expecting to have a good time all the time, every day, and you’ll find the job is much more enjoyable.

Enjoyment in work is about fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment. Doing hard things,
things that may not be enjoyable or fun, brings that sense of accomplishment, that feeling that you’ve done something hard and lived to tell the story. At least, that’s what I wanted to tell this girl. Just one more thing we all need to be teaching our kids and grandkids.

I wish I could see how this girl learns the reality of having a good time in her work. Maybe she will get it. Maybe she will not. For her sake, I hope she does.

2007-08-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

Death of Elvis

I've been to Graceland. It's lovely. Elvis Presley built it for his mother and even after her death, he saw the house as his mother's. A very sweet sentiment. But you know what? The man is dead. So why do people continue to visit his house, in droves, as if he discovered the cure for cancer.

He changed popular music and popular culture but his real life was a mess. A tragedy. So why is his image God-like?

The answers are simple. People are hungry for something bigger than themselves, something to worship, in which to have faith that all is well.

Showing respect for musical icons is completely appropriate but worshipping them? It's just plain wrong.

We have a God who loves us and can help us in whatever way we need. It's quite simple. Why is it that human beings have to worship the physical, the tangible, more complicated? It makes no sense to me but I suppose there are worse vices.

2007-08-16T09:21:00.000-07:00

Sleep Deprivation

Now that I'm feeling like myself again, I can see that several hectic weeks took a toll I hadn't noticed previously. It also reinforces for me all the research being done in sleep deprivation. According to sleep-deprivation.com, inadequate sleep "impairs our ability to think, to handle stress, to maintain a healthy immune system and to moderate our emotions. In fact, sleep is so important to our overall health that total sleep deprivation has been proven to be fatal: lab rats denied the chance to rest die within two to three weeks."

Of course, we aren't lab rats. It takes more than two or three weeks' sleep deprivation to kill us but the cumulative effects must be similar to those experienced by lab rats.

Stress, changes in work patterns, caffeine, alcohol or drugs, all can effect our ability to sleep or not. Frequently stress involves money, work or relationships. To get a good night's sleep, we have to get at the root of the stress. Questions like: 1. Did I drink caffeine before going to bed, 2. What's happening at work? 3. Am I working more hours than usual? 4. Is there a financial problem I'm trying to solve? 4. Did my spouse and I or a child and I have a disagreement? These are all very basic questions, designed to generate further thoughts. The point is that the key to ending sleep deprivation is getting to the root cause and working on that root cause.

Another strategy for ending sleep deprivation is a nap. If at all possible, napping can be very helpful in getting adequate sleep overall. It is a short term solution but still helpful.

Sometimes the needed life changes are hard but it's imperative if we are to feel rested and have the mental ability to effectively function in our day-to-day roles.

What I've learned recently for me is that I've got to be more careful about how I schedule my time, to be sure that I don't schedule large projects close together. I need to pace myself and manage my time more carefully in general. My sleep has certainly been better since the last big project ended.

What is it in your life that keeps you from getting your best night's sleep? You may be surprised how easy it is to make the needed changes once you get to the root cause of your sleep deprivation.

2007-08-15T06:15:00.000-07:00

The Almighty Buck

So O.J. Simpson's book "If I Did It" is going to be published after all. Both the Brown and Goodman families are fighting. Mattel is recalling toys made by a Chinese company, you and I both know that there will be law suits. A guy in China has committed suicide because his company was responsible for using the unsafe paint. Michael Jackson's former attorney is suing him -- over money. Miners in Utah have been trapped for several days and you know their families will sue the company for what appears to be an accident caused by an earthquake! A female Rutgers University basketball player is suing Don Imus and CBS over his comments months ago. Oh! And Imus and CBS have settled their law suits. There was a story on the news just this morning about people with plenty of money are so willing to steal money that they plead poverty to get out of paying their medical bills. Charitable organizatons pick up the tab.

WHAT THE HECK?! This is absurd! Our love of money is getting us into a deeper and deeper moral quagmire. The people who keep saying that Iraq is out of control ... you have got to be kidding me! We are so busy criticizing politicians that we aren't willing to look inside ourselves at what's really happening in our world and our lives! Sheesh! Are we blind?

Would I like to pay off the mortgage and my childrens' mortgages? Oh yeah. But would I be willing to mortgage my soul? No way. Of course, it's a matter of being willing to see these situations for what they are -- the love of money! Is it at all possible for us all to wake up? Yeah. It is possible. Very possible. But are we willing? That's the part I'm really saddened by and concerned about. We aren't willing to look realistically at the almight buck for what's it doing to us ... driving us deeper and deeper in debt. Debt of the soul.

2007-08-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

Listening

It's amazing to me how often people think they hear something, when in fact, that's not at all what was said. Makes is crazy. I know there are all kinds of theory about miscommunication, how the person sending the message is responsible for ensuring that the listener gets the message accurately but today, I think that's bunk.

Some people hear what they WANT to hear. Period. End of story. So how do you communicate with someone like that? They tend to be inflexible and immovable. Even if they hear a tape recording of the conversation, hear exactly what was said, they deny hearing what was really said. Doesn't matter the evidence. They know what they heard.

I'm dealing with someone like that and I laid it on the line. She's stuck and I don't know how to help her get unstuck. I'm a firm believer in allowing the person responsible for a problem to own the problem. If they want me to help them solve it, I'm happy to do that but they need to figure it out for themselves. Usually, that's a good strategy. But when you're dealing with a client sent from another company, that company doesn't like this strategy. I'm willing to live with the consequences, loss of income, because it's more important to allow individuals to face errors and fix them in the best way possible. I'm here to help. I'm not their mother. Should be interesting to see how this client handles things from here. She's angry. Frustrated. Too bad she doesn't understand that she's the source of her own anger and frustration!

2007-08-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

Cooking

There are just two of us inour home and for quite a while now, my husband has taken the lead in cooking. When we first got married, it became obvious that he had some distinct ideas about how he likes his food soI allowed him to take the lead. He got what he wanted and I got to get away from cooking. It was nice to not have to do both: cook and clean. But as time has passed, the cleaning up has become a pain in the neck. More than I want to do. So ... I'm back to cooking. I insisted on cooking after church yesterday and I think my husband really enjoyed it. Not only did it taste good, it was pretty easy to clean up.

Two daughters and their families are coming over tonight for dinner tonight and when my husband asked me how he could help, I told him I found a new recipe I'm going to try and I've got it covered. I'm actually excited about cooking for everyone tonight. My husband did say, "If the kids don't like it, there's mac and cheese in the freezer." Okay. So maybe the kids won't like a tomatoe, carmelized onion and asiago cheese pie and mac and cheese will be a good alternative. They all like mac and cheese.

I don't know how long this cooking thing will last but if the first experience is any indication, I won't have to spent as much time cleaning up. Maybe men don't understand that they can actually clean as they go? Doesn't matter as long as he likes what I cook.

2007-08-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

Husband

My husband did something really nice for me Monday. I was in the shower, washing my hair when a huge glob of shampoo landed in my eyes. Everyone gets shampoo in their eyes but this was of catastrophic proportions. Huge. I tried rinsing out my eyes while still trying to get the shampoo off my forehead, but they burning got worse. Burning to the point of feeling like I was going to faint and throw up.

As best I could, I wrapped a towel around my head, another one around my body and made my way, eyes closed, to my husband’s office and knocked on the door. When I said, “I need your help”, he immediately stopped what he was doing, guided me to the kitchen sink, helped me rinse out my eyes and finish rinsing my hair.

My eyes were still burning. Incredibly sore. The left eye was weeping. But this incident tells me a lot about how much my husband loves me. He stopped what he was doing with no excuses to help me. He could have blown it off, told me what do to but instead, he did it with me and for me.

I have to add this incident to the list of things he’s done over the years to show his love for me. A few years ago, I invited him to sit and watch a wedding cake competition with me. Not only did he watch the whole thing with me, he made comments and encouraged me to research the winner so we can go to her shop the next time we’re in New York City.

In short, he’s a nice guy and I feel very blessed.

2007-08-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

Today’s radio show is with another musician and composer who will tell us how to incorporate good music into our lives and why it’s important to do that.
Be sure to tune in!
www.grapevineradio.com
11:00 am mountain time

2007-08-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

Lazy

So what's the definition of lazy? When I was young, my parents used the word lazy rather freely. They were part of the generation of hard working people who pulled themselves up by the bootstraps and got on with life. They worked for everything, sacrificed willingly for their children and they got and expected everyone else to do the same.

So what was my first thought when I woke up at 10:00 this morning? I AM SOOOOOO LAZY. My second thought? Are you kidding me? The past several weeks have been wild. Crazy. Demanding. I was tired. More tired than I had realized. I even had a two hour nap yesterday! Of course, I stayed up late watching a movie I had recorded. It actually felt good to sleep late. It felt really good.

So ... the dilemma. Am I lazy? Am I not lazy? By my parents definition, I am. By my own definition? Nope. Not at all. I was going and going and finally my body and my heart said, "Enough". I was tired. Still a little bit tired. So I took care of business and slept. Now I'm ready to start going again.

2007-08-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

Relatives

Our son-in-law, Aaron, is the oldest of six children. His parents and siblings are terrific people and it's a blessing to have them in our lives. We wish they lived closer so we could spend time with them more often.

It makes me realize, once again, that the world is filled with good people, folks who are living their lives with integrity, are devoted to their families, and have their priorities straight. There's no need to include people in our lives who bring us down, who do not inspire us to be better and do better every day.

In the process of assembling a list of challenges as a part of a speech I'm writing, I realized that one of the greatest challenges in life is to choose wisely the people and things, especially media, that surround us.

I'm certainly more aware and at least for today, I will use more wisdom in what I allow around me today.

2007-08-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

Grandchildren

Grandchildren. We have a bunch of them! By next spring, we will have 22. Of the three still to be born, we know that two are boys. Hoping the third one is too. That family already has two girls and their boy will need a companion and ally.

Over the past two weeks, I've tended quite a few of the grandchildren and quite frankly, I'm tired. Not complaining. Just waaaaaay out of practice. Being with children for long periods of time just doesn't work for me anymore. Not that I'm old. I'm just spoiled. I like doing my own thing, in my own way and in my own time. What can I say? That's what life's middle years are supposed to be, isn't it?

On Sunday, we will have a house full of guests for a celebration of the birth of our latest granchildren, Jada Lynn. Jada's own home is too small for the expected large gathering so our home is it. This is fine, even terrific. We enjoy guests. But right now, it sounds like another big mess to clean up. So when Monday morning comes? I'm sleeping in and taking back my time. That's not to say it's forever. There's always service to be rendered, which is why I'm here now. But I'm very grateful that my time is my own and I can schedule when I serve. With children, it's just not that way. Oh well. I'm creating memories. I hope.

Stay tuned. I'll let you know if I survived.

2007-07-31T09:43:00.000-07:00

Sunday Lesson

Twice a month I spend an hour on Sunday morning at the local youth detention center. I teach a religious lesson but I try to include practical application to each lesson. Sitting and hearing about God and Jesus Christ is nice. Sitting and hearing how to incorporate God’s love and the words of Jesus Christ into one’s life is much better. These kids need to know how to make changes, how to draw on God’s love, how to use the atonement of Jesus Christ in their lives. They need to know how to accept responsibility for their behavior, how to change that behavior and how to choose a life of goodness.

God doesn’t want us to be a spectator in life. He wants us to live life. He wants us to be happy and the best way to be happy is to live God’s laws. Jesus put it very simply, “Thou shalt love the Lord they God, this is the first and great commandment and the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”

If we truly love our fellow men, we don’t do anything that will hurt others in any way. Lieing, cheating, stealing, vandalism, drug use, all the things these kids have done that have gotten them into the youth detention center, would cease. I don’t know if my efforts make any kind of difference but Sunday, one young man, a handsome, teddy bear of a boy, shook my hand and said, “You gave me a lot to think about.” I could not ask for more.

2007-07-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

Can't Make This Stuff Up

You just cannot make this stuff up!

You must read how far we’ve gone in labeling adolescents who have the audacity to behave like adolescents! It's impossible to make up this stuff. It's so ridiculous. We should all be up in arms over this one!

Check this out:
http://www.ocregister.com/opinion/butt-one-mashburn-1789340-counts-cornelison

2007-07-25T08:23:00.001-07:00

Small World

Yesterday, I was involved in a community event. My oldest daughter came with her four children. The event co-chair came to discuss something with me and said hello to my daughter. Turned out that they knew each other! Their children played together. As the day progressed, another of the involved people came to ask me something and SHE knew my daughter! They chatted for a little while. Turned out that this woman's husband taught my daughter in college and now my daughter is teaching their son in high school! AND the college professor recently taught my son-in-law in college. That was weird enough. Later, my youngest daughter sees the same woman and tells me she (my youngest daughter) knows the woman too! We all got a great laugh from it.

I knew we live in a small community but could not for the life of me imagine all the connections we have with so many good people.

All of this discussion about people we know reminded me how blessed we are to live in a community that allows us opportunities to get to know people, to be influenced by goodness and kindness. OH! That the world could be small enough to have the same kind of closeness.

2007-07-24T04:44:00.000-07:00

State Holiday

Every state has its traditions and today is our state's big day. We live in a small community where we celebrate with a parade and a day in the park complete with food and games for the kids. And guess who gets to be the chairman? Other than managing personalities, it hasn't been too challenging. However, it's been thundering and lightning for several hours and we had planned on starting set-up at 6:00 a.m. Haven't a clue how this is going to work but it will work out. Maybe we'll get a later start but it will all work out.

Someone told my husband recently that I seem to be unflappable. Yes, I suppose I am pretty much. I've stared poverty in the face and overcome it. I've been through divorce. Therapy. My children have experienced a variety of challenges that I've hopefully been there to help them through, and I'm still standing so how can I let a little rain bother me?

Besides, this whole event is all about honoring the people who worked, sacrificed and labored, really labored, no matter what the elements, to establish this community. I had better be able to do the same.

2007-07-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

Preparation

In our religion, we have a scripture that says,"If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear". Today has been all about preparation.

I spent two hours on line researching electric generators. Since our several-hours-long power outage, we've decided an electric generator is in order. My husband wants to purchase something to use short term, get us through 72 hours. Me? I want something long term, a back-up system that will kick in automatically when there is a power outage, something that safeguards us long term. I guess I'm more annoyed by the the situation in the middle east and the control those who have oil possess over our lifestyle. I want very much to take back control. Not using middle east oil at all is just smart.

In addition, we're compiling our list of emergency supplies that need to be replaced as well as those things that need to be added. We really buy into the idea that we have nothing to fear if we're prepared for any eventuality.

We know something big is coming. It may not be one big crash or bomb. The effects may actually accumulate over the long term. Either way, we are headed for hard times and I don't want to be afraid of those hard times. I want to be prepared. That little bit of peace of mind is worth the financial sacrifices.

2007-07-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

Women and Money

It's a tricky subject. Money. Made even more tricky when talking about most women's relationship with it. Yesterday on my radio show (Wednesday, 11:00 am mountain time, www.grapevineradio.com), I talked with a banker who gave some great advice to women and establishing their financial independence.
One of the things he suggested was that married women should have a small amount of money that they control, invest, however they like. Even stay-at-home mothers should control some money in the family, using it to invest and grow. This serves two purposes: 1. Mom's money management skills are exercised and grown and 2. If something happened to her husband, Mom has access to some ready ready cash without hassle.
Single women need to learn how to invest to ensure their future.
Our expert, Aaron Ernest, also talked about buying a home, both for single women and for first time homebuyer couples. He centered on thinking in terms of goals, if you know how long you're going to live in a particular location, know the neighborhood in which you want to live and your employment is as stable as you can pedict.
All women, whether married or single, need to understand and get involved with the financial affairs of their family. Life is too unpredictable not to be involved.

2007-07-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

Dogs

Growing up, like a lot of families, we had a dog. I was not impressed. To this day, I am not a dog person but recently I had an experience that demonstrated why others really enjoy dogs.

Eight years ago, my sister's husband passed away. Her youngest son, Jared, had been begging for a dog for years so after her husband's death, my sister consented. The dog, a dachshund, came from a family member and was promptly named Odie. Not very original but I wasn't consulted.

Although a canine, Odie became that family's baby, mascot, best friend and confidant. Several years later, when my sister's last child went off to college, she sold the big house and moved close to us. She built a little cottage that has become her haven. The dog went to live with our elderly folks. This temporary arrangement last 18 months.

Apparently dachshunds are prone to back problems and Odie's continued to become more and more severe. Only eight years old in people years, evidently young in dog years, Odie had to be put down. My sister made arrangements for Odie's internment and I volunteered to accompany her and the folks to the vet when the dog was put to sleep.

Of course, there were tears. The vet's nurse was very kind, very understanding and very comforting. It was as we spoke with her that the realization hit me. Odie had done his job and now he could move on. Odie came into the family to help them heal after the death of their loving husband and father. Now that they had all moved into other phases of life, Odie could move on too.

Okay. So I get it. Animals have healing powers. Thanks, Odie. You did your job well. You've earned your rest.

2007-07-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

Just One Thing

For most of us, change is difficult. Frustrating. Annoying. Too hard. But I heard something recently that I thought made making change in life easier. Stop trying to make huge changes all at once. Make smaller changes, one thing at a time. For instance, I saw a woman on television talk about losing over 100 pounds. How did she do it? By changing one thing at a time. The first step was to get up early and walk. At first, she barely made it around her block. But she kept trying and gradually went farther, a couple of miles, and picked up her pace. Ninety days later? She was down 30 pounds! At that point she hit a plateau so she changed one more thing. No eating after 6:30 in the evening. If she attended an evening family event, she just stopped eating at 6:30. No matter where she was or what she was doing, she stopped at exactly 6:30 p.m. The result? Another 20 pounds before hitting a plateau. So now she had changed just two things and lost 50 pounds! Half of the goal.

I’ve been thinking about this changing one thing at a time when it comes to keeping my home in order. We get so busy, working, traveling, children and grandchildren coming and going, that things get out of control. So I’m going to change one thing. My husband is notorious for not putting things away after he uses them so the first thing I’m going to change is I’m going to stop expecting him to do that. He’s an adult and even though I’ve asked him to pick up stuff, it’s not going to happen. So each night before going to bed, I’m going to do a “walk through”. I’ll pick up anything that’s out of place and put it where it belongs. That way, the new day starts with everything in its place. Who knows? Maybe it will even inspire my husband to put things away properly. Of course, I’m not going to hold my breath. But the goal will be accomplished. A more orderly home and all I’ve done is one thing.

Maybe there are other areas of life that will take just one thing to improve. I’m sure we can all apply this idea of changing just one thing to every area of life. Change really doesn’t have to be hard or frustrating. It takes just one thing.

2007-07-16T09:31:00.000-07:00

Community Spirit

Our next door neighbors incurred huge medical bills when their second child was born earlier this year. The new mom nearly died and spent a month in the hospital, including intensive care. The medical bills are astronomical and although their health insurance company will cover many of the costs, insurance companies are notorious for picking and choosing what they will and won't pay. Even when the decisions are made, there will still be thousands of dollars to be paid to doctors and hospitals, a burden most young couples just cannot handle.

As a result, the community has come together to help. Last Saturday evening, a fund raiser was held and $8,000 were raised. It may not seem like much but may turn out to be 10% of what is owed. That's not bad. It's also not bad considering there were NO expenses incurred. Everything was donated from the food for dinner, bake sale items, entertainment, publicity, etc. Olive Garden and Iggy's, two the area's most popular restaurants, donated all the food. Iggy's donated all the pizza they had in the restaurant. If patrons wanted to order pizza that night, they were out of luck!

It was remarkable to see people come together to help and it reminded me that in spite of sometimes feeling that we've lost our community spirit, it's not dead. Just asleep sometimes. And when that community spirit is awakened, we all benefit!

2007-07-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

Vegetables

I'm trying to do a better job of eating vegetables and fruit. Fresh or steamed. Careful to maintain all the nutrients. Five servings of vegetables a day shouldn't be tough. It's summer and there are some really wonderful vegetables available in the store. If I don't make it with five servings of vegetables I shoot for three vegies and two fruits.

We went out to dinner last night and I ordered a low fat, low carb meal of chicken served with three different vegies. I ordered salad instead of soup to go with it. I found myself eating the vegetables first. Not only that, I ate them like a child taking medicine that they think tastes yucky. I chewed them, tasted them and got them down as quickly as possible. Of course, I hadn't eaten much earlier in the day so I was hungry. Ravenous. But how dumb is that? I just wanted to get the vegies over with and enjoy my chicken! And I was good to eat only half the chicken.

We Americans like our sweets. Not all of us, of course, and I've noticed more and more young mothers are slim and healthy looking. These women are obviously eating better than I do.

There has to be a way to eat vegies that doesn't feel like punishment and I'm going to keep trying because I really want to be healthy for a long, long time. Of course, even if I never find a solution to the perception that vegetables aren't so great, as long as I keep eating them, I'm getting the benefits, right?

2007-07-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

Force for Good

We women are a powerful force for good. We have to stay focused on our individual part of the world but we also have to realize that to overcome the evil of the world we have to be willing to confront it. Sometimes that requires sacrifice on our part but if the world is going to be a better place for our children and grandchildren, we women will have to take the lead.
My personal American dream? At the end of my life, I want my husband, children, grandchildren, siblings and friends to say with a smile, “She healed the world.”

Be sure to listen to today's show: www.grapevineradio.com 11:00 am Mountain Time.

2007-07-09T05:06:00.000-07:00

Yankee Doodle Dandy

If you’ve never seen the film, Yankee Doodle Dandy, be sure to rent it soon. It’s the lovely story of George M. Cohan, a singer-songwriter and performer in vaudeville who was known as a Yankee Doodle Dandy. He was from Irish descent but born on July 4. Starring James Cagney, one of America's greats, the film traces the history of the Cohan family as they traveled around the country, entertaining in theatre after theatre.

It’s a rather sentimental film but it certainly gets my patriotic juices flowing!

2007-07-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

3 Things YOU can DO right now to make your world the best it can be!

Each Wednesday, I host a radio show entitled It’s About You: Your World, Your Life and how to have the best of both (www.grapevineradio.com, 11:00 am mountain time).

The show is all about how to have the very best life has to offer. Too often we get caught up in busyness, caring for your families, working, trying to keep up with all of the commitments we make and then when we finally crawl into bed, we ask ourselves, “Where has today gone? Why am I so tired? Why isn’t there ever any time for me? Why don’t I get more done in a day?”

Over the years, I’ve found that keeping things simple is the best way to live life so I’ve devised three things we can all do right now to create the world you want!

1. Decide right now to have a positive attitude, to notice and acknowledge all the positive things in your life. Spend just 60 seconds, right now, listing as many of the positive things you can in one minute and then post it somewhere you will see it every day. Repeat this exercise every Sunday night before going to bed.
2. Start today to have a set bed time for your children – and for you. Put the children to bed at least 30 minutes before your bedtime to ensure that you have some quiet time EVERY NIGHT before going to bed. Besides, kids like routines.
3. Spend that 30 minutes doing something for you: read, meditate, take a bubble bath, a longer-than-usual shower, paint your nails, something girly.

By following these three simple steps, you will be creating a world, your world, a life that is not just dedicated to fulfilling responsibilities, but also to being fulfilling for you personally.

2007-07-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

America Alone

Well, the ladies who lunch get together today and I'm going to be telling them about a book they have got to read! You should read it too.

America Alone by Mark Steyn is a great portrait of what's happening in the world today. We Americans are being sucked into a vortex of tolerance and pacifism. We're so concerned about how Europeans see us that we're forgetting that Europeans are whimps, scaredy cats and cowards. They have no principles, therefore, there is no way they will be able to defeat evil. Islam is not a religion. It is a political movement. We have to be realistic about that. Cloked in religion, it is not about worshipping a loving God. It is a political movement designed for obtaining power that will take the world back to the seventh century, take away all opportunity for choice, and give power to a select few. All men, by the way.

Hard to write that we have to be wary of all adherents to Islam but the few moderates that exist in Islam are not willing to speak up against their radical brothers and sisters. As long as we're on our own in this fight, we have to be aware and ready to stand up for what we believe. It won't be popular but since when was standing up for right ever been the popular thing to do?

If we don't defend our right to live life as we choose, who will? Not our European friends and certainly not the Saudis, who are supposedly our best friends in the Middle East. The young men who flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were not "home grown". They were Saudi and Egyptian.

Steyn points out how the folks on Flight 93 taught us all that only our willingness to stand up for what is right will save us. Those people stood up. They did not allow evil to limit their choices. They won. Our individualism is the reason that, in the end, we will be standing alone.

2007-07-02T06:17:00.001-07:00

Ingenuity

Air conditioning. It’s really tough when it’s over 100 degrees outside to know where to set the thermostat. When I’m comfortable, my husband is too warm. When he’s comfortable, I’m cold. Add to that, I’m really concerned about our dependence on foreign oil. As long as we, as a nation, depend upon foreign oil, we’ve got someone standing over us with a hammer and I don’t like allowing someone else control my life. Not even a little bit. If I cut my own consumption, even just a little bit, I’m shrinking the size of that hammer. Just a little bit.

We Americans are quite creative in our thinking. Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers, Eli Whitney, the list of creative thinkers is too long to name them all. But for some reason, American ingenuity seems to have stalled when it comes to our energy situation. Yes, we’ve got ethanol and some folks are buying used vegetable oil and turning it into usable fuel for their cars and some car makers are producing hybrids in a variety of sizes but as a whole, we’re not demanding enough of our most creative minds or doing enough on our own to improve our energy situation.

My next car will be a hybrid. I keep the fan on in the family room when we’re watching television or reading in the evenings. We keep the thermostat at a reasonable temperature and try to drive as little as possible. Maybe, just maybe all these little things will help.

2007-06-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Impressions

It’s easy to jump to conclusions, especially negative ones. Recently someone told me that they were annoyed with of an acquaintance for not thanking him for an act of kindness. These two people don't spend a lot of time together, they're not close and yes, the act of kindness was pretty big but why think negatively just because someone didn't thank him?

We’ve all had situations where we met someone new and instantly thought negatively of them. We've even thought negatively of someone we know well because of an oversight or slight and sometimes the slight is imagined. Rarely, if ever, intentional.

Individuals interviewing for jobs are told over and over again that they must dress with great care and correctness, sit with good posture, speak properly, etc, etc, etc. To fail in any of these areas, can lead to not getting the job.

What is it about impressions that we’re so quick to be negative? What is it that we want from others that when we meet them, we’re unwilling to give them the benefit of the doubt? And then when someone doesn’t live up to our expectations, like the fellow who was annoyed because his friend did not thank him for a kindness, that we’re so willing to be negative? To actually be annoyed? It’s really silly. Life is too short and time is too precious. We’re all human beings and need to be cut a little slack from time to time. Why aren’t we willing to do that for others?

2007-06-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

Appointments

We all have appointments. Commitments. Sometimes too many. One friend tells me that during the school year, she spends two full days in the car, taking her children to and from their various activities. She works part time and because she can set her own hours, she starts her day very early in the morning. By 10:00, she’s exhausted. Exhaustion seems to be the modern person’s greatest affliction. Sleep deprivation. Busyness. We’re all suffering from it.

I have to think that when archeologists study our time, they will be amazed at how much we accomplish in a day on so little physical strength. Add to that, they will see that we’re over weight and under nourished. Both of these conditions will add to their amazement.

So this week, as I was assembling my schedule, I eliminated some things and made sure I had time for a nap a couple of days and I’ll make sure I’m at the gym at least three times this week and in bed by 10:00. Well, it’s a nice idea.

2007-06-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

That’s Entertainment

In the past three days, I’ve watched three terrific films on DVD: Ship of Fools, Judgment at Nuremburg, both made in the early 1960’s and Witness for the Prosecution, made in the late 1950’s. All three films are instantly engaging, incredibly directed and acted. And the writing? Well, it goes without saying that the writing was magnificent. All three of these films are devoid of sex, violence and adult language. The three of them certainly have themes that anyone under the age of 14 would find difficult to follow but I certainly wouldn’t mind watching any of them with our 12 year old grandson.

The lessons of Ship of Fools and Judgment of Nuremburg are important. Entertaining, thought provoking and great examples of quality film making. The last time I saw a film in a theatre, I was entertained but within hours, gave the film no more thought. The three DVDs I saw this weekend, have stayed with me, giving me things to think about. Now that’s real entertainment!

2007-06-25T06:12:00.000-07:00

Expectations

Every time I read George Will’s writing, I am thrilled and dismayed. Very few people write as beautifully as Will. His observations are conservative and I agree with many but even when I don’t agree, I am impressed. He has a way of putting words together that is beyond exceptional. He expresses his ideas clearly and simply, with strength. He backs up his ideas with facts.

Each time I finish one of his articles, I think that although I’m a good writer, I’m certainly not a great one. Not even close. And it makes me sad. In my younger years, I expected to be a great writer—novels, short stories, magazine articles. That certainly hasn’t panned out. I’ve become a better writer but not a great one. Of course, there’s still time but I’m not holding my breath. However, I will keep at it. Keep trying. Excellence is always a good thing for which to strive.

2007-06-22T08:52:00.000-07:00

Thoughts

So she's not one of the great thinkers of our time but I heard Liza Minnelli make an observation recently that was quite profound.

The American Film Institute recently broadcast clips of the films on its 100 best films list. One of the films on the list was Cabaret, the film for which Minnelli won an Academy Award. The film adaptation of the Broadway play, Cabaret tells the story of a group of entertainers in pre-war Germany. These people are very self-involved and all about having fun, paying no attention to what's happening around them. Minnelli's observation? "When everyone is playing a little too much, watch out!".

I've been saying for months now that we're not paying attention to the world around us, so busy wrapped in our own lives and having fun that we aren't paying attention to the moral decay around us! We're not teaching our children and grandchildren right and wrong, personal responsibility, honesty and courage. We're too busy having and showing them a good time, making sure they're busy and pursuing entertainment. In short? We're all playing a little too much it's time to watch out!

2007-06-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

Mayor of Crazy Town

I've heard several new phrases lately. Mayor of Crazy Town, The Idiot that lost its Village, Resident of CooCooVill. I wrote an email this morning to get some help with the messed up bank deposit, (no, it's not resolved yet and it's now Thursday!) and referred to the person who made the huge error as a brain surgeon. No. She's not smart enough to be a doctor but she may very well be the idiot wandering around without a village. Who in their right mind would use the US mail system to solve a problem that a simple phone call would have resolved? Easily. The Village Idiot.

I've met a few people recently that I am convinced are co-Mayors of Crazy Town. Outrageous ideas. Congress? Puhlease. It's as if as soon as they're elected, they are possessed. Real Poltergeist stuff but even Steven Speilberg couldn't dream up the stuff that's happening in our country!

Paris Hilton may be physically in jail but let's face it. The poor girl is residing in CooCooVill. Has been for a while now.

I keep wondering when common sense died. I missed the funeral. I miss common sense. It's a good friend and there are days when I think I'm among a very small group of people who still have it. I may be wrong but surely I'm not alone in this feeling.

The other things that have died? Shame and embarrassment. But that's another story for another day.

For now, I'll just sit here and sigh. Oh! And hope the credit union calls me to say that the check is finally deposited and put out an ad to let the village know I've found their idiot.

2007-06-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

Rough Week

Everyone has rough days. Rough weeks. I've had a rough couple of days. A medical procedure that in and of itself was a piece-of-cake but the preparation was AWFUL. Banks making errors and not only not apologizing, reluctantly fixing the errors. One of the bank's errors actually caused our mortgage to be late with accompanying late fees and penalties and since the bank has admitted they erred, one would think that they would offer to pay those fees, right? WRONG.

In the second situation, where a bank clearly erred, I had to ask for an apology! Once they explained the error, they treated it like "oh well". The young man in customer service finally apologized when I asked him to but sheesh! Why did I have to ask? When I called my own credit union to explain how their partner credit union screwed up, they said, "We can't do anything until the error is fixed". DUH! That's why I'm calling. To get your help fixing the situation! Again, they can't do anything until they get the check that the other bank messed up.

The moral of the story? Don't be the next person to piss me off.

2007-06-18T16:17:00.001-07:00

Out of commission

I’ll be taking a couple of days off for a little medical procedure. Nothing serious but they’re telling me to take a couple of days off. One for preparation and one for the procedure itself.
Listen to the show on Wednesday, June 20, www.grapevineradio.com 11:00 a.m. mountain time. We will be talking about integrity and how to incorporate it into our lives.

2007-06-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

Getting Organized

My husband is out of town for a few days so I thought I would take advantage of the time to get us better organized. Our room, in particular, is in desperate need so I started there. It didn't take long for me to realize that the vast majority of things out of place are my husband's, especially his clothes. True, his dresser is not adequate for his needs but I came upon dozens of things that could just as well been hanging in the closet, should have been hanging there but were not. Annoying.

My husband tells me his messiness is "a guy thing". I've bought that explanation and accepted the fact that it's not ever going to get any better. Fortunately he's so terrific in so many other ways that this messiness and disorganization is tolerable.

It's interesting how we women handle things about our spouses that we wish we could change. And our spouses handle things about us that they wish they could change. Some of my friends tell me that their husbands think they spend too much, spend too much time with their children, don't get out enough, don't cook enough (now that the kids are raised), etc, etc, etc. It's always something, as Gilda Radner used to say.

My husband recently told me that my determination to keep our energy consumption to a bare minimum was getting on his nerves because now that it's summer and we live in the desert, he is uncomfortably warm. I had ceiling fans installed in our bedroom and the family room but that's not enough for him. His office is the only room in the house that gets the very hot west sun and I hadn't thought of that. So ... we're working on a thermostat compromise.

And so it goes on. Life. Living. Loving and working through life's little annoyances. No complaints here, though. Life is too good to complain about anything. How about you?

2007-06-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the World

Welcome to the world baby Jada. You large extended family as well as your nuclear family is happy that you've arrived safe and sound. You're coming into a troubled world but your part of the world is relatively peaceful and definitely safe because you have been born to loving, selfless parents.

You have a lot of grandparents and even great grandparents who want to show you the good things of this world. They want you to be educated and independent while finding that tender balance of selfishness and selflessness. It is through loving and serving others that you will find your greatest happiness. It's a little tricky getting there but you will do it!

The world in which we live will tell you a lot of strange things. Don't listen. Incorporate the good into your life and reject the bad. Don't let the world guide you to paths that will only divert you from true happiness. Pleasure and happiness are not the same thing. Learn the difference early in your life and you'll be far and away more prepared for adulthood than your contemporaries.

Of course, this is pretty heavy stuff for a girl who is not even 24 hours old. Just know that you are loved by your parents, grandparents, brother, cousins, great grandparents and most importantly, by a loving Heavenly Father. With this knowledge, you cannot possibly go wrong!

2007-06-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

Babies

Our youngest daughter is having a baby. Maybe today. Definitely Monday. I've been talking to young women a lot recently and telling them not to pass on an epidural. My six were all born naturally. Dumb thing to do if you don't have to do it that way. Nobody ever offered me an epidural and I'm still resentful about it. Well, a little, anyway.

So another baby is being added to our family and two other daughters are expecting later in the year. Pretty amazing. These little ones that come to us so pure and innocent. It's our responsibility to love them and to teach them and hopefully we can preserve some of their purity and innocence. The world is a frustrating place. Full of negatives for kids. But there are positives too. Fortunately. Just harder to find than ever before.

In spite of the negatives of having a new baby join our family, it's exciting. So many possibilities! So much adventure ahead! Challenge and laughs. I'm looking forward to getting to know this new little grandchild. I hope she's looking forward to getting to know all of her extended family. She will have wonderful parents. That's a great start!

2007-06-06T06:45:00.000-07:00

Supplements

What the heck?! Older men (and I don't know how that's defined) can be tested for low testosterone which may be a factor in why they cannot factor children. Testosterone can be a factor low sperm counts. So ... men are given testosterone supplements. Of course, give the wrong dosage and the man becomes aggressive, easily annoyed, aggressive. And isn't that the trick? Getting it right the first time and doctors generally cannot get it right the first time. Take with caution. We know that athletes have tried testosterone supplements that may give them an edge in their sport but those athletes have been known to ruin their marriages in the process.

Women and estrogen? We thought it was great when it was first found. Over time, we found it's not so universally good. Again, gotta get the dosage right the first time, make sure all the family history is in place, etc, etc, etc.

Calcium? Folic Acid? Vitamin C? They all started out to be wonder drugs. But then we learned better. It seems we're all willing to jump on the latest band wagon and then ... well, it's not so great.

Supplements are just another way that our common sense fails us. Actually, we fail to use common sense! Maybe that's what this blog is all about. Let's all tap into our common sense! We may actually change the world by simply using our common sense! Can't hurt.

2007-06-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

I Pods

Flying between Boston and Las Vegas, my I-Pod saved me from losing my mind. I get bored, what can I say? Flights feel loooooooonnnnnnggggg. And I'm sorry but when you're flying in the cheap seats, sleep is a joke. At least, it is for me.
My husband teases me about all the stuff I take on a plane to stay entertained. On really long flights, I have a special carry on I take so I can fit in my portable DVD players and two or three DVDs. But this flight was only four hours so a couple of books, scriptures and my I-Pod was all I needed.
The music I've downloaded is divided into three playlists: Housework (music that gets me moving), Mellow (music for clearing my head) and Sunday (inspirational). So I was covered. When I tired to reading, I tuned into mellow music, closed my eyes and really zoned out. I got up and moved around for a few minutes and then back to my seat. This flight was a little bumpy and as you know, they're very strict about sitting during the bumps.
After reading scriptures, I listened to the Sunday music and then the moving stuff when I was really bored. The plane landed just as I was feeling ready for another walk around.
When I got out the plane, I realized that I was bored for even a few seconds on this flight. Whew! The I-Pod saved me from what I feel is a fate worse than death. Boredom.

2007-06-04T13:11:00.000-07:00

Back from Vacation

I'm baaaaaack ... good news, bad news, right?

The trip was great but it was good to get home. Actually, I've really got mixed feelings about being home. My heart is here, my husband is here, some of my children are here so it's good to be here. But I dreaded getting back to work. Not that I don't enjoy what I do, I don't enjoy knowing that I have to be some place, answer to other people, particularly clients. What can I say? I'm getting old and cranky? No, I don't think so. Not so much, anyway. I just want to move on to other things, other projects and do new things. The job is same old, same old. I've got a short attention span and I've been there, done that. Nothing new, nothing exciting anymore.

Fortunately work isn't all that's going on in my life. My personal life is full. That's a blessing and a relief.

2007-05-21T05:51:00.000-07:00

We're Off and Running .... Again

My husband is one of those people who can't sit still for long. He likes to keep moving, seeing things, doing new things. For a while, he told me that I wasn't very adventurous. Then I jumped on the chance to take a helicopter ride, learn how to snorkel, go up in a hot air balloon. He thinks I'm plenty adventurous.

We've been on one pretty big trip so far this year. A Hawaiian cruise. Several little trips including Disney World. Now we're off on a magical history tour. We'll be stopping at places unique in our church's history as well as some presidential libraries. Two weeks in a car together. This should really be interesting. We got the GPS to make sure we get where we're going without a lot of hassle. Both of us are very independent so being together 24/7 should be interesting. We love each other and enjoy each other's company. That's going to help. A lot. With us luck!

2007-05-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

Grown Children

My children are all grown and I get such a kick out of them! They make me laugh. They make me cry. They make me happy. They make me sad. Mostly, they make me smile.

My youngest son is especially funny. He asked me if I had gotten Lasik surgery. Then he said, “DUH. You’re wearing glasses.” When he tells a story, he’s very dramatic. Extreme. Hilariously funny. My second son is a loving husband and father who is wise beyond his years. He helps me in business and is great to talk to in general. My oldest son called on Mother’s Day and told me how one of his sons, the oldest, was sitting in his lap as he and I were talking. He’s an adoring father. He also loves what he does for a living. It's wonderful to hear his stories of catching law breakers. His excitement is contagious.

My oldest daughter is coming to trust me, something that I think took her a while to do. Trust isn't easy for her in general. The effects of divorce and the untimely death of her first husband. She's extraordinarily physically beautiful. My second daughter, is warm and caring, almost dependent emotionally on her mother and siblings. She's also a very loving, caring mother. As a nurse, she must be exceptional. The youngest, also a daughter, is my friend. She’s probably more like me than any of the others, well, a more quiet version of me. She tells me that when you're the youngest of six, you don't get to talk much but you did get to watch and learn from your older siblings.

I love being a mother. That’s really all there is to say. It’s the hardest role to fill but also the most fulfilling. I love being a mother.

2007-05-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Hospital

For the past few days, I’ve been spending time in the hospital with my sister. She’s been ill and since she’s my only sister, I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. She’s a real sweetheart.

Looking around her hospital room, I was reminded of how fortunate I am to live in this country, to know that when I’m sick, the resources and knowledge are there to give me the best help in the world. It’s not perfect but it’s the best in the world.

We were recently notified that our medical insurance is being raised more than two hundred dollars a month, a move that is the result of our getting older, and as the result of a medication that I’ve taken for years! So we raised the deductible. This is the trade off now. I can only imagine what couples who can’t raise their deductible do to make medical insurance available. I also can only imagine what comes of our savings if one of us gets really sick and not only do we pay that deductible, we pay 20 percent of the remainder of the bill. It’s an act of faith, isn’t it? Even though we have the best medical care available in the world, we have to be able to afford it, we gamble our future, to be able to afford it. And we aren’t the only people out there doing it.

2007-05-16T06:52:00.000-07:00

Listen Today

Today’s radio show is 11:00 am. Mountain time. Don’t miss it. We will be talking about books that have moved you, inspired you, entertained you! Call into the show and tell us about books that you love: 1-866-377-1737
www.grapevineradio.com

2007-05-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

The Sopranos

I like The Sopranos. What can I say?

In the most recent episode, the main character, Tony Soprano, did something that actually caused me to feel sympathy for the man. His heart led him to do something that in and of itself is despicable but his motive was positive, almost pure. He very likely saved a child’s life from the action of her drug-addicted father. Sad but true. Entertainment writers have a way of manipulating emotions. On the one hand, it ticks me off. On the other, I am in awe. The writing on this show is amazing. We see and feel all sides of a situation and actually feel sympathetic toward a mobster! I find it remarkable.

I am a writer. Of sorts. Writing like that on The Sopranos reminds me that I’m a piker. Not a great writer. Not even a good one. Okay, maybe good but certainly not great. And I have to admit that it makes me sad that I don’t move people the way the really great writers do. Of course, the knowledge of my inability causes me to keep trying.

2007-05-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

Families

Ever notice how families are changing? It seems more and more groups of friends are considering themselves families? Cousins are as close as siblings. It has a lot to do with how we’re moving away from each other, putting greater distances between ourselves and those we care most about.

With the geographic distances comes emotional distances. Of course, those emotional distances can and do occur to people who live in the same house. All the time. It doesn’t have to be that way.

But it’s nice to know that even people who bond because of mutual need and mutual interests, can come together and create a unit that enriches all of their lives. Over the years, I’ve collected people, friends, who have been like siblings, even parents to me. In many ways, I’ve learned how to be a mother from other women, by watching how they relate to their children, how they meet challenges in their families.

It’s all quite remarkable.

2007-05-11T07:29:00.000-07:00

Baby Shower

Our youngest daughter (yes, the one that just graduated from college!) and her husband are having a baby in June. The baby is a girl. Her older sibling is a boy and a baby shower seemed in place to be sure the new one has some clothes appropriate for a girl.

The thing is I haven’t a clue how to put on a baby shower. It’s been so many years! For her first child, we had a family baby shower after Thanksgiving dinner. It was a small and just family. Lots of fun. Informal. My kind of party.

This one will be our daughter’s friends as well as family. I hope they aren’t expecting games and prizes. There won’t be any. There will just be strawberry shortcake, talk and presents for the baby. Pretty simple. In today’s world, nobody wants to play shower games. For whatever reason, they are considered passe’. We don’t seem to like cute anymore. At least, we don’t like cute games. Maybe we’ve outgrown them? Become too sophisticated? I don’t know but I do need to think of some things to fill some of the time, if nothing else. Any ideas?

2007-05-10T06:38:00.000-07:00

Graduation

Our youngest daughter just graduated from college. Since between the two of us, there are 10 children, my husband and I feel as though it’s 9 down and 1 to go. Just one more child to get through college.

Why is it that having our children graduate from college is so important? For me, college represents a rite of passage, a milestone, another step along the path to adulthood. Sometimes college is preparation for a career, sometimes it’s the place where an individual can find their passion.

One of the speakers at last Saturday’s graduation, spoke to the importance of realizing how it’s now time to find that thing, that cause, that is bigger than ourselves, bigger than anything else in our lives. After college, it’s time to give back, it’s time to dedicate ourselves to giving back to society at large. The world is in great need to goodness, of people like our daughter, your daughter, college graduates who are giving back, making the world a better place. I hope they understand that and that you and I are doing a good job of teaching our kids how the world needs them.

2007-05-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

Color

Be sure to listen to today’s radio show. www.grapevineradio.com. 11:00 a.m. mountain time.

This week we are taking a break from all concern we should share about evil and how our culture and society is changing. We're going to be talking about the psychology of color and how we can use color to create the mood we want in our homes. Listen!

2007-05-08T07:42:00.000-07:00

Book Recommendation—Crazies to the Left of Me, Wimps to the Right/How one side lost its mind and the other lost its nerve by Bernard Goldberg

I’m finishing a book that I highly recommend. It’s actually quite humorous, although it’s not intended to be comedic.

Bernard Goldberg, a former CBS news correspondent, is considered a sort of media turncoat. He has written two best sellers about how the various traits of liberals in this country. Much of what he writes has had me laughing out loud because he is so spot-on and liberals won’t get it!

Of course, neither will conservatives. He has saved some very clear, astute observations for conservatives who have lost their nerve, steadfastly refusing to stand up for what they know is right.

Buy it! Check it out from the library! However you get this book, read it!

2007-05-07T06:33:00.000-07:00

Letter Writing

When was the last time you wrote a letter? A letter that you actually put into an envelope, stamped and placed into the mail? I can’t remember the last time I wrote one.

Like most changes, it’s a two edged sword. More gets done faster than ever before. Email gets things done quickly, briefly and in a way that keeps things simple. The telephone gives us access to information and connections. Cell phones make it even more simple and convenient to make those needed calls in between other chores.

However, it’s sad that we don’t have those marvelous letters, one-to-one, from-the-heart tomes that record history, both personal and national. How will historians and archeologists know what our lives were really like? Our little emails won’t tell them much. I’m afraid the only records available will be all about our work and little about our lives and hearts.
I suppose it’s just one more thing we will have lost. The thing is, we keep losing little things about ourselves and don’t seem to mind. That’s the really sad part of it.

2007-05-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

Shame On You!

George Tenet, former CIA director makes me so angry! He couldn’t wait until President Bush is out of office to whine about how he got blamed for the start of the war in Iraq? I would like to slap him. He did support the intelligence reports that said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. That part seems to be omitted from the news reports and Tenet’s “tell all”.

Sheesh! Why do the media do this? Tell only a part of the story, the part that makes our President look bad. If you’ve ever read this blog before or you’ve ever heard my radio show, you know that the media are not, in my estimation, to be admired or encouraged. I appreciate living in a country with a free press but that doesn’t mean that the media is free to do their job half-assed, to tell the story in pieces that betray their personal biases.

And George Tenet? He should be ashamed for not standing up like a man, accepting responsibility for doing a crappy job, not having the guts or ability to stand up for what he thought was right, if at the time, he thought something other than war was right.

Shame on you, George Tenet. Shame on you!

2007-05-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

Names and Labels

10 Downing Street. The White House. Old Ironsides. The Big Apple. The Big Easy. Dixie.

All labels and names for common things like cities, houses, the southern United States. I’ve wondered about labels and names that we assign to various things. I think it’s all about making things simple but sometimes I think in the process of simplifying, we miss out on meanings and lose some kind of respect for some of our institutions.

Does all this thinking about respect make me old fashioned? Out of it? I hope not but it probably does mean that I’m behind the times. How the heck did that happen? I’ve always thought that I was quite with it, in tune with the times and happy with simplicity.

I’ve been on a helicopter, up in a hot air balloon, so I don’t think I’ve become completely elderly. Not yet, anyway.

2007-05-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

Journal

For what seems like my whole life, I’ve heard of people who do a great job of keeping a journal. In their journals, they chronicle happenings, feelings, events, both monumental and small.

I’ve heard people tell stories of how they’ve gone back in their journals and reviewed life’s experiences. As they’ve read, they’ve noted their own growth.

Several months ago, I came upon an old journal. It’s now sitting on my desk. Just sitting there. As I thumbed through it, I felt appalled to see how I handled, mishandled some things, how totally devoid of self esteem I had been for so many years, how sad and lonely I was in my immature years. I experienced hurt and sorrow.

In addition, I experienced great love, not from those closest to me but from friends who must have sensed what was missing in my life. They nurtured me and encouraged me. Various therapists over the years taught me the importance of loving myself and how to do that. Sometimes they told me things I didn’t want to hear. But they made a lasting impression in my life.

Every day as I look at that brown leather book, I think I have to do something with it. I started it to record my life and I want to share some of the things in it with my posterity. Now that years have passed, I don’t want my children and grandchildren to read some of the things in it. They know my warts. They don’t need to read about them too.

I’ve decided to go through it, enter much of the information into a word document and then throw it away. I think a condensed version can give future generations what it needs to know about me without the things that I find embarrassing. It would be nice to say that all of my life is an open book, literally and figuratively, but I cannot. So I’ll switch to Plan B.

2007-04-30T08:34:00.001-07:00

Fantasies and Dreams

When I was a young woman, I watched Perry Mason with great interest. Every week. You see, I was going to grow up to be a female Perry Mason. Win all my cases, be the smartest person in the room. All that.

Okay. So I didn’t become an attorney. I found out no attorney wins all the time. A few come close but not all the time. I was really bummed out. For weeks.

In time, I wanted to be an actor. I use actor as a generic term but when I was a girl, a female actor was called an actress. We just don’t use that term much any more. I didn’t become an actor either. I was smart enough to know that Meryl Streep had a corner on the market of great acting.

Screen writing. I was writing short stories all the time. I love movies. Why not combine the two? I have yet to complete a screen play.

As a bona fide film freak, the ideal job? Movie critic. Unfortunately no one will pay me to write my opinions about film. Besides, over the years, I’ve come to play favorites. It would be too easy to see that certain directors, no matter how a film turns out, could direct laundry soap commercials and I would give them raves.

But when I really let myself go crazy and play “what if”, I’m an attorney righting wrongs, fighting putting criminals in jail and helping elected officials write legislation.

Then I’m an actor, accepting an Oscar for the film I also wrote.

But when it all comes right down to it, life as it is may not be the life of my dreams but that’s because it’s so terrific, I could not dream this up! Even my imagination has its limits.

2007-04-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Out of Town

I’m out of town on business for the next three days. The radio show was pre-recorded. It’s about what’s happening in today’s culture. Everyone is too busy and this busyness is distracting us from what’s really important in life.

www.grapevineradio.com
11:00 a.m. mountain time

2007-04-24T06:14:00.000-07:00

LAW & ORDER

The TV series, Law & Order has been on for 17 years. Ratings have dipped. Moving the show from Wednesday to Friday didn’t help. Friday is a low TV viewing night. People go out, sporting events, movies and similar activities.

The show is still good but after all this time, it’s gotten expensive to produce. NBC is in third place in ratings among the three major broadcast networks and the network is looking for ways to cut costs. Canceling Law & Order would save about four million dollars a week. At least the network is allowing the show’s producer, Dick Wolf, to cut costs before canceling the show.

As a viewer, I actually sent an email to NBC asking that they keep the show on the air. I like it. The acting is especially good, for television. The writing is also good. It features thought-provoking stories that are based on current events and popular culture. As the culture changes, there are many more stories to tell. It would be a shame to cancel it now.

2007-04-23T07:45:00.000-07:00

Spirituality

There’s a lot of talk today about spirituality. People are trying to connect to something greater than themselves. Some folks pursue eastern religions. Others immerse themselves in the religion that is their family’s tradition. Books about spirituality sell in large numbers.

People read the Bible in large numbers. Some Christian denominations are experiencing conversions in growing numbers.

Along with scheduling tasks, as spelled out in yesterday’s blog, schedule a few minutes each day meditating about your spirituality. What’s important to your heart? Your soul? What does your spirit say to you about what’s important? Jot it down. You’ll be surprised how the answers appear to you.

2007-04-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

Scheduling

Some people say that they hate to schedule their time. It causes them to feel restrained, stuck to the plan with no flexibility. For people who feel this way, I recommend a simple solution. Plan your day as a whole and make a simple list. The three items you will accomplish each day. It takes less than ten minutes each Sunday evening to look at the coming week and list three things you will accomplish for each of the next five days. Be sure to include your children’s activities to ensure that you do not miss anything important to and for them.

Don’t miss long term goals, things that you want to accomplish over the long haul. Just split the task into small pieces, scheduling a small piece at least once a week.

Don’t allow yourself to waste a minute but also don’t allow yourself to miss using your time to your best advantage.

Remember. Time is the only resource we cannot recapture. We can’t get it back.

2007-04-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

Radio Show

Be sure to hear my show today. It’s About You. Your World. Your Life and How to Have the Best of Both.
www.grapevineradio.com
11:00 a.m. mountain time.
We talk about a lot of life challenges including time management, starting a savings account, setting and achieving goals in all areas of life.

2007-04-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Friends and Relatives

They say you can’t pick your relatives but you can pick your friends. But can’t we choose to make our family members our friends? Many families are now what is called “blended”, step families coming together to create one bonded unit.

Somehow in these families, a few manage to blend successfully. Parents seem to be the key. If they relax, have open, loving hearts, the kids seem to follow suit. Of course, there will be those little things that come up, those quirks that rub biological siblings the wrong way will rub those non-biological siblings the wrong way too.

This past weekend we spent four days with my husband’s four daughters, their spouses and children. We could not have had a better weekend. It was fun from beginning to end.

I’m shocked to hear stories of families that do not blend because my four step daughters are great friends. I love them dearly. They have a loving, sweet mother who is supportive of their friendship with me. It makes it easier and she deserves a lot of credit.

We all want to have a happy family. A blended family. We’re all working toward the ideal even though we can’t define it or describe it. It’s just an ideal for us.

2007-04-16T07:04:00.001-07:00

The Death of Common Sense

So Don Imus has lost both his TV and radio shows. He said something he shouldn’t have said. He is seen as a “shock jock”, uses language designed to get a reaction. So saying inappropriate things is what he does. It’s his schtick. The debate seems to center around where is the line? He stepped over it but what does that mean?

If we don’t know where the line is, how can any of us know what we can and cannot say without ticking people off? There’s a simple answer. Common sense. Where did it go? Isn’t the loss of common sense the reason so many of us say and do stupid things both in public and in private?

And then isn’t it the loss of common sense that causes us to over react to reports of idiots calling people names? It is common sense that makes it clear that when listeners don’t like what is said on the radio, they change the channel! When viewers don’t like what they see on television, they turn the channel! When listeners and viewers allow their common sense to kick in, they turn the channel! It’s not brain surgery!

In the end, we have all got to stop, think and allow our innate common sense to rule our actions.

2007-04-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

Starting a Savings Account

It’s Wednesday!
Want to start a savings account? Only 0.5% of us are doing it. Listen to my radio show today. It’s all about small things anyone can do to build up their savings account. It’s About You. Your World. Your Life and how to have the best of both airs today at 11:00 am mountain time. www.grapevineradio.com.

I'm out of town again until Monday. Have a great week!

2007-04-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

Birthdays

Our grandson, Caden is nine years old today. Another grandson, Michael, is two years old tomorrow. Before 30, birthdays were something to look forward to, a milestone. Now that I’m well into my 50’s, I avoid them like the plague. Last year, my husband invited a few people over on my birthday and it was a sweet thought but I would rather spend the day quietly.

Last night, on the Sopranos, Tony celebrates a birthday and he says that all he wanted was “a few kind words”, something that his father used to say. Of course, he got some pretty cool gifts. He ‘s the head of a mob family, after all!

Later this year, we will be hosting a little dinner for our father who is turning 90. Now that’s a milestone worth recognizing.

Of course, I really enjoy celebrating with our children and grandchildren. It’s a challenge to find the right gift but even more importantly, we’re making memories with our family members, something upon which we can never place a price.

So Happy Birthday, Caden and Michael! We love you and look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you.

2007-04-09T07:05:00.000-07:00

Complaint Letter

It's been a while since I've written a complaint letter but I did it last night. It took less than 20 minutes. Our family spent $1500 at a hotel in California recently. The elevators were slow, service for the breakfast included in the price of the hotel rooms was slow, we had to pay for the shuttle service that was also slow and the manager wasn't willing to help us accomodate a special situation. So I wrote to the head of the hotel chain to let them know we were disappointed. We've stayed at hotels in this chain before and always had good experiences. I usually make sure I fill out their comment card before I leave to be sure they know we had a good time. But this time, I had to tell them that things weren't so good.

Why is it that we're recluctant to be honest about the experiences we have in life? Why is it that we're either very negative or very positive or even worse, very passive? Why don't we speak up more? We don't have to be ornery or nasty about it. We just have to report to companies what our experience was with their service or product. In my company, even though we ask, our customers don't give us much feedback. Customer feedback is an important piece of information for us to have but most people don't want to take the time to give companies their thoughts. I have to wonder how my company, any company, will ever get better, if we don't know how our customers experienced us?

So from now on, I'm going to do a better job of letting companies know how I feel about my experience with them, negative or positive. The company needs my input, everyone's input, and I need to express my appreciation for good service more consistently. It's good for the soul.

2007-04-04T06:47:00.000-07:00

Radio Show

Be sure to listen to today’s radio show at 11:00 a.m. mountain time at www.grapevineradionetwork.com. I’ll be sharing some important stories about honor, a quality losing its importance in our society.

For the next couple of days, I’ll be out of state attending a family reunion. Will be back on Monday!

2007-04-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

Neighbor

After a month in the hospital, our neighbor is home. Still recovering but home. Her newborn baby is now a month old and her two-and-a- half-year-old son is obviously ecstatic to have his mother home.

Her husband was absolutely beaming when he answered the door and announced that he had just brought home his beloved wife.

Can you imagine the relief? They had just welcomed a beautiful baby daughter into the world when this young mother became ill. Gravely ill. She was within an eye lash of losing her life a couple of times over the month she spent in the hospital. Doctors were mystified about the causes of her illness, treating each symptom as it appeared as best they could.

Both husband and wife say that they are convinced that the miracle of her recovery is the result of prayers, their prayers, the prayers of family members, neighbors, friends and even the prayers of strangers.

There are those that will say this recovery was no miracle. For these folks, it was coincidence, or just good doctors and nature, her overall good health before she fell ill, that contributed to her recovery.

I strongly disagree. The situation was so grave that there was no way she would have regained her strength without a miracle from God. It’s sad that we are so slow to recognize miracles when they are so clear.

When was the last time you recognized a miracle in your life? It’s there. It just takes willingness on our part to recognize it as such.

2007-04-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

Church

If you’ve ever read this blog before, you know I go to church. I enjoy it. Most of the time. But I’m not there to be entertained. I’m there to be fed. Spiritually.

It struck me this past weekend that since I do a poor job of feeding my spirit throughout the week, by the time Sunday rolls around, my spirit is ravenous.

This past weekend, for two days, I was spiritually fed to the point of being stuffed. I attended a conference filled with inspirational, uplifting talks, given by incredibly wise, experienced men and women. The speakers used the scriptures to teach the concepts of prayer, building a relationship with God in spite of what’s happening in the world, the positive effects of service and sacrifice, choosing the right even when it’s hard, making a difference in the world.

It is now Monday morning and although the fullness it settling, I still feel full, my spirit more determined to keep me moving forward in goodness.

That’s not to say that I will ever be perfect in all areas of my spiritual life but I’m going to keep trying. I’m more convinced than ever that it’s important. For all of us.

2007-03-30T05:52:00.000-07:00

Sheesh!

What is it with people!? So we have a client who came to us last year Wants us to fulfill his sales. Okay. Cool. We do that. His company is a break off of another company that worked with us. Came highly recommended. So we take care of him. Of course, along the way, he forgets to tell us he has a new email address so for a month last year, he wasn't getting invoices, we weren't getting paid and he got angry when we asked, gently and tactfully, why he wasn't paying?! Sheesh! I shouldn't have been surprised when I ask him about an operating agreement that he didn't sign and he replied that they aren't selling our product any more! Okay, so sales appeared to be down, that happens, but when did he plan on telling me that he wasn't selling our product anymore?!

The up side? We took on a new client that appears to be led by a couple of guys who know how to communicate, know how to treat partners, etc.

I have made it a point to be clear in my communication, get things in writing, behave professionally in every instance, etc, hoping the rest of the people with whom we work will do the same. Doesn't happen. We get taken for granted, expected to be patient when it comes to being paid. The list goes on and on. I attribute it to small town mentality, soemthing I cannot change. It's just annoying.

2007-03-28T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hobbies

Everyone needs a hobby, something to enrich their lives. My friend DeAnne, swims and loves the sun. Another friends enjoys crafts and sewing. One of my husband’s friends has become an amateur expert in fossils and Indian relics. He takes long hikes and invites friends to accompany him. My favorite is reading biographies, histories and writing short stories.

Some people enjoy movies or television. Others collect things. Geneology is among the fastest growing hobbies in this country. Gardening has been very popular for generations. My friend, Charyl, says that she feels most alive when she is in the dirt, getting her hands dirty, tending her flowers.

When I listen to people describe how they feel when they spend time on their hobbies, I cannot help but smile. They sound happy, almost giddy. They get excited and love telling others about their adventures. It reminds me of cloth. It’s like fabric that has a pattern and multiple colors, each aspect of life a different color. Hobbies are the bright red of the fabric. It compliments the other colors and textures, enriches them and emboldens them, giving each a new shine.

Everyone should have a hobby or two.

2007-03-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

Radio

Talk radio is my favorite radio format but I have to confess that it can be annoying. Same old. Same old. Negative reporting. Nothing is ever good enough. No one in leadership or politics is ever smart enough. Wise enough. It can be very wearing. Very annoying. Why can’t commentators say something positive for a change? There are conservatives and liberals, all constantly yacking at each other, blaming each other for whatever is the day’s catastrophe.

Wouldn’t it be a treat to hear someone accept responsibility for something? Wouldn’t it be refreshing for a liberal to point out how the government messed something up or for a conservative to acknowledge that a problem was caused by their miscalculation or lies?

Once again, we have only ourselves to thank. We have tolerated much too much of the negative arguing and back biting.

2007-03-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

History

In her book, Team of Rivals, Doris Kearns Goodwin, an exceptional historian and writer, tells the story of Abraham Lincoln’s election to the presidency and how he assembled a team of his rivals to assist him in governing. Throughout the book, Lincoln’s character and integrity are demonstrated over and over again. He won supporters by being consistently honorable, true to his word and willing to stand up for what he believed, no matter the consequences.

There were those who saw him as unpolished and crude in appearance but once they got to know him, they came to respect him.

He was not the staunch anti-slavery advocate he later became, constantly looking for ways to peacefully settle the dispute. The Civil War was a great burden to him, having started when South Carolina insisted upon leaving the union.

Lincoln was a patient man but he eventually came to see that in spite of his orders, general after general was not willing to be assertive in the way the union needed to win the war. He frequently replaced them, ultimately finding U.S. Grant as the man to bring the war to its end, in spite of heavy losses.

The man suffered great loss with the deaths of three of his four sons as well as the deaths of soldiers on both sides of the conflict. He took no pleasure in war and wanted only to win a reuniting of the nation.

I cannot help but wish we did not discourage the Lincolns of our day from running for office by our overly enthusiastic nit picking and criticism. Honorable people who may want to run for office are discouraged from it because they don’t want to expose their families to the over zealous scrutiny. Who can blame them?

2007-03-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

Money

On last week’s vacation, we set a sort of budget, knowing that there would be several things we wanted to do and purchase to bring home. I toured Kauai with five other people – in a helicopter! My first helicopter experience but definitely not my last! One of the members of our group did the calling around to find the excursion that was affordable and saved each of us $60!

Here’s the thing. When you’re on vacation, you’re dealing with folks who want to make as much money on you as possible and when you abandon the shopping strategies you use at home, you end up spending more than you need or should.

Of course, it doesn’t feel much like vacation, does it? When we’re on vacation, it’s easy to want to just let go and spend like crazy but it’s completely ill-advised. Foolish even. The only way recreation providers will stop trying to take advantage of vacationers is if we train them to not expect us to abandon all good sense. There’s actually a certain satisfaction in having a good time while spending less money.

2007-03-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

Monday, Monday

It's Monday and after a great week cruising Hawaii, it's good to be back. It's easy to complain and resist getting back into the swing of things but as we arrived home, I couldn't help but think that life is good. Really good and there's not reason to not want to come home after a great vacation.

We also got some very happy news when we arrived home. Our neighbor, who has been in the hosptial for a month, much of it spent in intensive care, should be home in the next week to ten days. She has had a miraculous recovery and we're really happy to know she will soon be home.

So today, the sun in shining, life marches on and it feels good to be home!

2007-03-08T03:42:00.000-08:00

Flags

My daughter, Rebekah, spent 18 months in Bolivia. When she got home, I picked her up at the airport and as we were driving home, we passed an extraordinarily large American flag, flapping in a breeze. Rebekah told me that it was great to see our flag and that to her, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Of course, part of her emotional reaction had to do with having been out the country for a substantial amount of time. However, every time I see the American flag, in person or on television, I get a lump in my throat. I love this country and I agree with Rebekah. It is the most beautiful of all flags.

I suppose we could debate about how things change and how the flag no longer symbolizes what it once did. I don’t care. To me, the American flag symbolizes everything that is right in our country, the ideals for which we stand, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The problem is that too many believe that America guarantees happiness but it’s never been about guaranteeing anything. It’s always been about pursuing happiness, whatever that means to each individual. And that pursuit is alive and well in the country, the only country in the world, in the history of mankind to guarantee that pursuit. God Bless America.

2007-03-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

The Apprentice

It’s another of my guilty pleasures. The Apprentice. I wonder every week what will happen, what challenge will the contestants face, how will “The Donald” handle the losing team, how will the losing team behave?

Maybe it’s the way the show is edited, making the contestants look as if they are completely lacking in organizational skills but week after week, I talk to the TV screen, okay, so sometimes I yell, telling the project managers how to organize their team, how to follow through, check back on their team members as the task unfolds. I know they can’t hear my advice but I do wonder how in the world these young men and women got through college and made their way into the business world with such weak organizational and leadership skills?! It’s amazing.

I guess the show is set up to play into the egos of the contestants since being an effective leader is important but it’s a struggle for them to keep that in perspective because winning is so huge.

OF course, who cares? Why bother analyzing it? It’s pure and simple cut throat entertainment.

2007-03-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

Neighbors

One of our neighbors is in the hospital as the result of complications of child birth. The situation has made me realize that we take child birth for granted. We assume that that having a baby is, if not easy, certainly carefree and that nothing can happen because it’s so rare. Rare but still possible. Child birth is not 100% assured. Babies do die occasionally. Mothers do die occasionally. We don’t think that will happen in this case but it does happen sometimes.

The nice thing is that we’ve come together as neighbors and behaved like friends even though we don’t necessarily socialize as neighbors. Every one is rallying to help as much as possible, to support the family and the extended family that has descended to help their loved ones. Our neighbor’s mother has been caring for the family’s two children, including the newborn, and she told me today that she had been feeling alone but knew that she was not, that she appreciated all the support they were getting.

In the film and novel, Passage to India, one of the stories told is of a woman named Mrs. Moore, whose son Ronald is a British diplomat in India. She visits her son and is appalled by how the British treat the native Indian people. She tells her son, “God put us here to love and care for each other”. Amen. Amen.